Criminology of a Nebula

Update

I get married on March 7th. Andrew and I will have been together for three years. We’re currently gaming on CoX [server Freedom], and I’m taking 12 hours in my hopefully last semester of college. We are also on Twitter, which surprisingly Andrew got us into.

Not much else to write at this time, but I figure I’ll be using this journal more often. Cut back on LJ.

ignorance is bliss

I did a report over the Columbine massacre in 2004 for my Sociology class. During that time I became engrossed in the goings-on prior to and during the attack. I’m not happy with the fact that I became engrossed, but I did. I joined a couple LJ communities having to do with the event, and looked into merchandise [school shirts]. I looked into shirts after VT as well [hit close to home in the fact that it happened while I was in college], but Cho was not the same to me as Harris and Klebold. I think this is what started me on German music.

Eventually I got beyond it [as I did after an 10th grade essay over Kurt Cobain]. Then, about a week ago, I dreamed about Columbine. I dreamed I was there with a group of people, after the events had taken place. We [the group] were just looking around the building [set up as a dorm, but with classrooms and offices mixed in], which had been preserved as it was on that day. Because of this dream, I’ve fallen back into the fascination. I’m reading more information on it, watching a few movies [Bang Bang You're Dead on YouTube, which is a really good movie, regardless] and having more dreams. It disturbs me.

In other news, Andrew and I are doing the Weight Watchers thing. He’s lost about 10 lbs so far. I think I’ve lost a couple. I haven’t been exercising, though. I’ll probably do better when that starts [obviously].

I haven’t written in awhile. That would probably help me in both dealing with this “fascination” and losing weight.

YAY!!!!!!!!!

Andrew is coming! He’ll be here in three days! [hopefully] They left this morning just a little after eight a.m., got off to a bit of a rocky start [one of the lights is messed up on the trailer Andrew's dad is pulling] but They’re doing fine. So I’m hoping they’ll be here by Sunday, but definitely Monday. I’m beyond excited; I can’t convey it. My Roo is moving here to be with me and [barring negative vibes] we’ll get married next year. Yeah, I know that might sound like it’s moving fast, but we’ve been together for over two years and by then (three years) we’ll have been around each other constantly, seeing how we tick and whatnot. Hopefully we’ll both be working and healthy.

And now that I realize I haven’t updated since a few days ago, I will tell you some slightly scary stuff. I had a slight car accident on Wednesday. It all started at Burger King. I usually drive through, but I had to pee so I went in. Then I realized I didn’t have enough moolah to get food stuffs, so I went to my car and saw that my driver’s side mirror was hanging. It was attached via wire [it's an electric one that moves with a joystick], but I figured it would probably fall/tear off if I tried to drive 70 mph home. So I ran across the road to an auto care place and the guy told me to go down the street to another auto care place. They were nice people, he said, and could probably help me out. So as I was going, holding my mirror in my window so it wouldn’t fall, I was also scanning for this place I’d never heard of before [Teddder's Auto Care]. I saw a place on the right of the street but didn’t get into that lane as the guy had said it was on the left. Then I saw it. I was stopped [with my blinker on] to turn in to it and was waiting for some cars to pass when BANG. Someone rear-ended me.

I started out strong [the driver was a young girl around my sister's age] but the woman with the driver was being a biyatch and said, “I don’t think your taillights work.” [whatever]. When the Searcy cop finally got there [by now I was crying and had called a family friend so I wasn't alone] we gave our statements and neither of us got a ticket [my taillights DID work, thank you], but my car wasn’t driveable so Betsy [mai car] is currently at a tow-yard. [sniffle] No injuries were sustained [I think I have minor whiplash, and that chronic back pain isn't so hot] but I’m really hoping her insurance has to pay for it. Ridiculous.

I just finished my first week of this two week course in the 60s Pop Culture and American Literature. I think they should have one for the 80s, too. That’d rock, hard-core style. It’s been very cool so far; we’re of course covering the Beatles, Dylan and Andy Warhol, and we watched The Graduate last night. I’m not overly fond of the instructor, but meh, it’s only one more week. Oh yeah, and a 7-10 PAGE PAPER. Egad, I’m in for it.

I don’t have much else to say. Hope you’re all doing fantabulous! Much love! Oh, and it’s my sister’s bday!! Go see NARNIA!!

Twilight

I recently read a slam of Stephanie Meyer’s book, Twilight. I dunno why I get sensitive about such things. Perhaps because I truly enjoyed the book, and for someone to hate it makes me feel I somehow have bad taste. I don’t even know the person who slammed it, personally or internet-esque-ly [though I have seen her HP fan art and she does a wonderful job... even if she's a Malfoy fan ;)]. But there were a few things with her slam that bothered me.

There is a line when Bella says she is “part-albino” in a sarcastic manner. This girl, and others who hate the book, were like, “WTF, you can’t be PART albino!!” But that isn’t a good argument to hating something. She was being sarcastic. She wasn’t even trying to come across as being such. I say I’m an albino oreo; no one has come up to me and said, “Uh, you can’t claim that, because there is no such thing.” That’s kinda the POINT, people.

They said it was a bad fan-fic. I can see that, where people would think that. [shrugs] I’m not saying my opinion is important. I guess I can only say why I liked the book.

+ This book is probably the most innocent vampire literature I’ve ever read. This is one reason some people hate it. It’s not true “vampire fiction”. Andrew says that about Laurell K. Hamilton’s take on vampires in society. But I don’t see a problem here. Isn’t the point of being an author one’s ability to take something commonly known and write however you like? The reader may not like it, but at the very least, appreciate it.

+ Some people dislike [and in reading the slam, I can see where and why] the female protagonist in this series. I enjoyed that she was clumsy and not the typical exotic-looking beauty [she has brown hair and eyes, as opposed to the blue eyes and blond hair, or black eyes and black hair, etc]. The author of the slam said “Stephanie Meyer has to be seriously messed up in the head, not to mention a complete loser (Bella hates sports, cries a lot, and “falls down a lot when she runs”) if Bella is a self insert, which it is painfully clear that she is”. A: Since when is one considered a complete loser if one hates sports and falls a lot? B: I didn’t sense an insert. Now, people put parts of themselves into a character all the time. That’s why characters are so personal to authors. Meyer may even have been writing about her adolescence [minus the vamps, of course] and maybe she did fall and cry a lot [lol]. But I do not see any way the slammer could equate the two. The moral of course is to become more comfortable in one’s own skin, which she does with Edward.

Now, and however, and other segues into the next paragraph: I did agree with some things she posted. The PDF I read was sent to me years ago [at least 2004] and was most likely text straight from the book. The errors [grammatical, typographical, word choice] are there, and she could improve on her writing. But everyone does that. I’ve heard people say how horrible a writer J.K. Rowling was in the first HP books, but she obviously got better with practice. Same with musicians [usually]. I do wonder if the PDF was a first draft sometimes; wondering if perhaps she or an editor revised it before the printing. But I doubt it because the e-version I was sent came with the front and back cover art, so yeah.

Anyway, I think I’ve wound down in my semi-rant. Bottom line: I should like the book because I do, the end.

Thoughts

+ Andrew is moving here in May! ^_^

+ I watched Prom Night and was happily surprised to see that it was not like the typical teen-slasher flick. Good plot, dynamic characters, good twists, and no nudity! Hurrah!

+ I might possibly fail some of my classes, due to my lack-of-caring when it comes to writing essays. The cancer that is my writer’s block has spread from fiction and poetry to non-fiction and prose, and the all important RESEARCH PAPER.

+ I saw a SNL tribute to Chris Farley last night [not all of it, as Dancing With The Stars was on as well] but it made me happy/sad because he was so funny.

+ I want to go to the movies.

+ I need to get a job this summer. In a related note, I really want to take a break from school. The way I have the summer laid out [in my head], I’ll be taking a class [or two, but hopefully one] to finish my BA, then do the classes for alternative-certification, then I’ll be looking for a teaching job. That’s school for the rest of my life! I haven’t done anything. Sure, I traveled to visit Roo, but that doesn’t really count because we as a couple never traveled [except when we went to ID]. I want to not have responsibilities [which, given, I currently have those now and am doing little/nothing with them]. I want a lip ring, and I want to be able to wear it for more than a few hours before having to take it out to do work/class.

+ I ate too much breakfast.

+ I’m considering dumping my friends list, then having all you guys add me back. It’s not that I don’t want some of you; it’s just that I figure I have people on my list who don’t want me there and don’t read my LJ, so if I clear it out, they won’t add me back and I won’t have to go through and find them :S [this kinda goes with the first point]

+ Jim Butcher just updated his LJ with some good points on how to start your story/novel. Those writers of you out there might wanna check it out if you get stuck: Butcher’s LJ

+ I wonder if I’ll ever get to sing in a band [sigh]

I think that’s all I can think of for now. I’m lonely and feel a bit like sludge.

Family Reunion

So after many conclusions of “Yes, I’ll get to go,” then, “No, I won’t,” I am finally getting to go to the family reunion this weekend in Louisiana. My cousin Elaine [she's my grandmother's age] is working on Friday and will be getting off at the same time I will be getting off school. The reunion festivities start on Thursday, and Nana is leaving around noon tomorrow, but I couldn’t leave then because I’ve missed too much school and blah blah blah. I was thinking that perhaps I could ride with or at least follow Jesse, but I didn’t want to drive my car. Elaine came up to me Sunday after church and asked if I was going and if I’d like to ride with her since she didn’t want to go alone. So yay! This will be at the same location as last year’s.

Today we heard a really interesting Chapel speech from one of the Bible professors.

Also, I just remembered, apparently THIS is happening. Kinda creepy.

Bri

Roo + AR?

Andrew’s dad asked him to clear out of the RV by June 13th so they [Roo's dad and mum] can take it to Utah for a week o’ vacation-esque suchness. Andrew took this as a cue to get his butt outta Idaho. This coming after the unfortunate and untimely death of Amber, one of his good friends. She was only 25. However, despite the pain of this [it saddens me too; I met her and she was a sweet, cute, fun girl] I want to say hopefully it was for the best. I hate how the last minutes of her life played out, and I hope they were not as painful as they sound, but I do believe that even if she had lived through this, she would have been in a state she didn’t want to live in. Plus, even if she had recovered fully from it, given her medical history, something worse may have happened later on to drag out a torturous demise.

I’m getting off topic.

My point is, Amber’s death seemed to [according to him] wake him up to the realization that he really does not want to spend the rest of his life in Idaho. He’s decided to look into living arrangements here in Arkansas like I wanted him to. In my version of thee perfect scenario, he’ll move here and we’ll be around each other for a year or so, including time to get engaged and married. I want to get married where I go to church, and I think he has relented to that

My job is now to get the phone numbers and addresses of various apt. complexes around Searcy [and a little beyond, if need be] so he can call them for more information. He’s nearly positive he’ll be moving here around the middle of June, so he can tell that to the apt. people. Plus, he should be finished with school by then. Last night we talked a bit about different jobs he could possibly take while here, and while working on his portfolio and resume for something he *really* wants to do.

Also, Andrew and his family saw Horton Hears a Who and he said it was really good.

I don’t really have anything else to say. Much love to ya, mates! Happy St. Patty’s Day!

Leap Day! WOOOO!

I didn’t post any poetry, but I seriously want all of you who read this to answer: Do you read my poetry/stories? I’m not meaning to sound emo, but because writing is so important to me, I really want feedback on this. I want to know the direction I should go with my writing. I have always wanted to be a teacher [high school English, and now Eng. and Psychology], and I still do, but I want to know if I should just scrap the writing thing and not even kid myself about it anymore. I know there are plenty of people who are excellent writers who don’t get the recognition they deserve while people who aren’t so super sell books. [shrugs] No one has ever said the world was fair, except the World’s Fair, and that doesn’t count [though it could]. Seriously though -_-.

So I have been taking advantage of McLeap Day by going to McDonald’s yesterday and today for the free McSkillet burrito [with purchase of med. or lg. drink]. Pretty good, my friends. I doubt I’ll ever actually buy one, considering they’re about twice the drink price just when purchased alone.

I’m going to drop Cognition and Learning. I made a horrible grade on the first test, didn’t take the second test, and I’ve missed about 4 days in the class [with one being due to sickness]. It would take a lot of hard studying to catch up, something I am not good at nor do I have the willpower to do. [sigh]

I found [not really found, as it was under my PC desk and I knew it was there] a box full of notebooks and folders last night, which I went through to find old poetry and stories. I actually had more luck in the stories department by opening a drawer in my nightstand [which is really an old two drawer table with pull-out boards that my great-grandfather made] and discovering I’d stuffed the drawer full of crap. Including binders with stories in ‘em. So I’ve re-discovered some of the stories I started once upon a time but will never finish. As far as the poetry goes, I’m happy that I found some of them, because while they’re old, some are actually decent enough that I would like to feature them on my new site [which you guys should visit cuz I said so].

Speaking of visiting, I’d love it if you guys would check out The Writer’s Block; a fiction-posting off-shoot of Andrew’s Meat Monkey Warfare, which is itself a place where his friends post. I plopped myself on there because I thought he wouldn’t mind… turns out he kinda did because he just wanted it to be a place for UAT alumni, but then he didn’t mind cuz it was me. And I only post relevant stuff. Meh. ANYWAY, visit the Writer’s Block and check out my stories [just click my name in the Writer's section at the left to see only my stories] or skim through and read some of Andrew’s fiction, as well as some good work by Andrew’s friend [or "spirit animal"] Christian. He’s German. It’s fun.

This next week is my Spring Break, which means I dunno what. But I will be getting my hair cut [again] on Wednesday [and dyed black and dark blue--hopefully on the dark blue, b/c I'm asking her to use some dye I bought a couple years ago, so it might not work] and then going to the dentist. So the week after spring break I will have presentable hair and teeth. If/when I find my camera, I’ll post pics.

I think that’s it. I hope you all have an excellent weekend [and I dunno, I may try to get online sometime throughout the week] and a great first of March! Speaking of, Andrew and I will have been dating for TWO YEARS in mid-March ^_^ Congrats to us ^_^ LOVE Y’ALL!!

Update

I’ve added more poetry from my computer [found my thumb-drive! yay!] and one (1) piece of shorrt fiction to my Writings section. I’ve also revised Ash from its previous ramble to a more finished [but still unfinished] poem. I’m also adding a link to “The Writer’s Block”, an off-shoot from MMW [like this blog] which features various writers and their random works.

I’m thinking of trying out some type of voice post. We’ll see what the kry8ter thinks of that.

I had a good day Wednesday; went to all my classes and such. Thursday, I did nothing. Because of this [and the fact that Thursday was the date for my second Psy test] I’m thinking of dropping Cognition and Learning, even though I highly enjoy the class. It in fact has little to do with the class so much as my performance in the class and my absences thus far. I can take a summer class and graduate and whatnot. I’m an über failure.

I really would love a house of my own. I feel antsy now at home. I love Nana and I love being with her, but I feel I’m a burden, and I feel like being on my own would give me a better grasp of the “real world”. Of course, it’s not really feasible to have my own house/apartment if I don’t have a job and I understand that. But at the same time… I dunno. I liked living in the dorms [especially when I was the single occupant] because it gave me that false sense of “real worldness”. Having a car is great [thanks, Nana!] and for the month or so that I actually had money from sub-teaching I felt like an adult. But now I feel like a 23-year-old child. I can’t believe I’m 23. Insanity.

I need to quickly revise a couple things. Cheerio.

Feeling a little ticked.

I dunno. This week isn’t setting up to be a grand one. I’m still getting over previous ills; turns out those “mouth sores” were ulcers, which have currently disabled me from eating. In other news it’s cold and I need to finish a psych. paper.

I need to find some more info for my uncle.